btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
