We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
