I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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