Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
