Dual....:-)
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
