brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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