Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
