After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
