im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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