apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
