Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
