you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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