Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
