I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
