Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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