i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
