hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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