What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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