just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I need a burrito and a hug.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
