let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
