I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
