that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
