I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
