I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
