Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
