Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
