Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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