their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
