Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
