I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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