"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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