you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
