I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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