I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
