he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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