hotel room ftw
Jerry, you need to find god
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
