it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Someone came in the potted fern
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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