Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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