No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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