how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
