whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
