I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
