how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
