just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
