Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
