; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
