at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
