remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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