she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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