I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
