highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
