New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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