Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
