I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
